Sunday, March 25, 2012

Self-Trust, SRA 1, Lesson 5

 
Trust, Self-Trust, when I’m allowing myself to walk process, breath by breath, there are these moments where I second-guess myself and don’t actually allow myself to self-trust myself because of self-judgment. Believing/deceiving myself that I’m misinterpreting all the Desteni Material, when I know that Desteni is actually expressing what is real through looking at this world and integrating the tools, within the physical. This is not only related to Desteni, when I’m self-judging myself, but through any moment that I’m not seeing/realizing and understanding myself, as ALL as ONE as EQUAL. This is obviously a key flag-point for myself when I’m actually seeing/realizing and understanding myself through self-trust that I allow myself to go into my mind and panic that I’m bullshitting myself into actually seeing what the Desteni Message is all about. This is also an interesting point into over-analyzing the Desteni Message because the Mess-Age is simply informing HU-MAN-ITY that its time to take self-responsibility for what we’re creating in this world, by releasing ourselves from the bondage of the mind, within thoughts/feelings/emotions.

What I’m also seeing within the point of self-trust is that I’m allowing myself to not actually trust myself because of going into the mind, by making PRO-CESS into something its not. As though PRO-CESS is something outside of myself that I must always match up to be and become, fascinating that through the words process, we have the word PRO of becoming a master of process, which is very ironic because being the master of our mind and mastering our minds is what this process is all about for actually looking at this point in common-sense. Self-trust has become a point where I allow myself to create this polarity of PRO-cess, by coming from the point of trust to judgment, which is energy and not actual self-realization and is a major self-sabotage pattern, in its entirety. We obviously can’t be self-judging ourselves if we actually allow ourselves to self-trust, as ALL as ONE as EQUAL.

Indeed, self-trust is not something to seek from outside-sources within myself by over-analyzing various dimensions of the mind by defining what I do or don’t do in process has a self-definition of, ‘who I am.’ Fascinating the words, ‘who I am,’ have come to the point from self-trust, by/through not allowing myself to self-realize for myself that its impossible to LIVE self-trust if its from the perspective of looking for some persona to become a self-definition of myself just so I can feel gratified/satisfied, within myself. As the though the things that I do that are apparently, ‘good,’ makes me stronger and a better person, which defines, ‘who I am,’ by/through if that’s not happening, then I’m falling through the mind, by not self-directing myself, for myself; looking at what is real by not self-defining myself by anything because that would imply separation of self.

Which, self-defining what I do or won’t do is linked also to wanting/needing/desiring confirmation/validation from others, and not actually self-trusting myself for what I’m doing HERE, in the moment and not in some fantasy/delusion of my mind, by/through I’m not actually getting to the core of, ‘who I am,’ within this very breath and not some fantasy/delusion of something I did or didn’t do, because its not real at the moment. The only thing that is real is what is HERE, in this very moment for myself to not walk through process, by intricate time-loops of polarity, from self-trust to self-judgment and not actually looking at myself in essence, in every moment of breath, because then I will be walking what is HERE, rather then what is here, by/through the power of now=Consciousness of looking into the dimensions of the mind, through looking at what is here in the present and is actually subjected towards the past/future, which the present isn’t the present anymore, but a place where there is no living, but constant dwelling of what was done in the past and what can be done, which is another indication of what I been doing, within myself.

Diverting myself through, ‘here,’ rather than actual authentic expression, ‘HERE,’ not allowing myself to go into the mind to not actually see/realize or understand that going into the mind is in actuality pointless, by/through is playing a game of polarity, like moving from one dimension of trust to judgment, now, the change to the word trust to self-trust is very evident. Because of moving myself based on energy, this also explains my time-loops of PRO-cess, by/through I allow myself to play the energy games of trust to judgment, but not actually looking beneath the layers of self-sabotage, that I’m actually trusting how others perceive/believe my own PRO-cess, by/through the point of wanting/needing/desiring confirmation/validation, while I’m not actually walking process, for myself; as myself, but looking for others to justify my very own participation of my mind, while not allowing myself to see/realize or understand that this is a flag-point for myself that I’m in the mind and very much brainwashed, through the sense of not actually BRAIN-WASHING all the shit of the mind, within the tools that Desteni provides.

Word: Trust
Associations
-Putting faith/hope into someone/something outside self, Relationships, A picture of myself talking to my Mom about how much I trust her and nobody else, -Not having control of my life,  Feeling of Control, Feeling of Hope, Feeling of Faith
Energetic signature charge to 'Trust,' is positive. This is absolutely fascinating from looking at my above associations because they can certainly be depicted as negative, from a certain perspective. For an example: Leaving your life or some important choice to someone/something outside yourself and not having control, which can also be looked at from a certain perspective as having absolutely no choice and being enslaved, which is fascinating that I have believed/deceived myself into thinking that this is a positive attribute of the word: trust, because I don't have to take self-responsibility for myself, but actually look for something/someone outside myself, so I don't have to face myself and actually self-trust myself, for myself.
Thus, leads to want/need/desire of relationships because not having to face reality and also looking for a religion of self, for myself to not have to face myself. Interesting how I have linked the word trust to complete diversion tactics of not taking self-responsibility for myself, as myself. This can be a flag-point for myself to look at what I'm doing, within myself, by/through not delibarelty participating in trust, from a deceptive starting-point, but to actually see/realize and understand that I can self-trust myself and not have to place values outside myself to make everything seem more comfortable, when I'm not actually being comfortable through the expression of myself, as self-trust.

SF on Charge of the Word, Trust
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place the word, 'trust,' with a positve value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word, 'trust,' with a positve value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' with a positve value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' as 'right'/'good'/'positive.'
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word, 'trust,' with a positive value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' with a positive value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' as 'right'/'good'/'positive.'
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word, 'trust,' as 'right'/'good'/'positive,' within my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the word, 'trust,' as 'right/'good'/'positive,' within my mind.
Associations
Putting faith/hope into someone/something outside self
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word, 'trust,' to putting faith/hope into someone/something outside myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word, 'trust,' within putting faith/hope into someone/something outside myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' and from the association of putting faith/hope into someone/something outside myself, through defining the word, 'trust,' within putting faith/hope into someone/something outside myself, in separation of myself.
Relationships
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word, 'trust,' to relationships.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word, 'trust,' within relationships.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' and from the association of relationships, through defining the word, 'trust,' within relationships, in separation of myself.
 A picture of myself talking to my Mom about how much I trust her and nobody else
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word, 'trust,' to a picture of myself talking to my Mom about how much I trust her and nobody else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word, 'trust,' within a picture of myself talking to my Mom about how much I trust her and nobody else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' and from the association of a picture of myself talking to my Mom about how much I trust her and nobody else, through defining the word, 'trust,' within a picture of myself talking to my Mom about how much I trust her and nobody else, in separation of myself.
Not having control of my life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word, 'trust, to not having control of my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define, 'trust,' within not having control of my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' and from the association of not having control of my life, through defining the word, 'trust,' within not having control of my life, in separation of myself.
Feeling of Control
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word, 'trust,' to feelings of control.
I forgive myself for accepted and allowed myself to define, 'trust,' within not having control of my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' and from the association of feelings of control, through defining the word, 'trust,' within feelings of control, in separation of myself.
Feeling of Hope
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word, 'trust,' to feelings of hope.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word, 'trust,' within feelings of hope.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' and from the association of feelings of hope, through defining the word, 'trust,' within feelings of hope, in separation of myself.
Feeling of Faith
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word, 'trust,' to feelings of faith.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word, 'trust,' within feelings of faith.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word, 'trust,' and from the association of feelings of faith, through definign the word, 'trust,' within feelings of faith, in separation of myself.
1. Gathering Information
a.   Establishing self’s allocation point- Within the word, 'trust, I live it very much through one of the associations that I utilized above, by/through I allow myself to think and believe that I cannot trust myself, but have to seek trust from outside-sources, wherein I'm not allowing myself to actually self-support myself because of basing my entire PRO-cess on confirmation/validation from these outside-sources, by gaining energy of trust, without actually taking self-responsibility for myself, as myself.
b. Dictionary Definition-trust [truhst]  Show IPA
noun
1.
reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

c. Sounding the word, Trust. Tru....st.....T-rust...Truss....Tra...us...us.... Trist...Trisk....Risk
T-R-US-t
T-Rust, T represents, 'choice,' by looking at the letter, 'T,' as a flag-point for myself of having a road before me, while I also see the word, 'rust,' which is representing moving into the, 'choice,' of eating oneself, from the inside out and going to rust or accumulating self-trust, slowly but surely.
T-Time, R-Relationships being formed through, 'trust,' by seeking/looking for outside-sources to make decisions for myself, instead of taking self-responsbility, slowly but surely. US-Again, putting my life-decisions in others hands, while not coming to actualy solution/decision as the self-directive principle of myself, as myself. T-Choice.
Also, within the sounding of, 'self-trust,' I see, 'true,' within the sounding of, TRU-HST, from a certain perspective this represents the truth of trust, within not coming to actualy desision/solution, I'm able to see/realize/understand that I will literally go to rust and die, thus, be no more. Furthermore, I'm risking my own individual process, by coming to decisions/choices from people outside myself, while not making a decision that will stand the Test of Time.
Does the definition within the different aspects that you have gathered as information of the word, carry a polarity charge (is it made ‘good’/’positive’ or ‘bad’/’negative’)? Yes.

3. New Definition

a. Creative Writing-Self-Trust, when I’m allowing myself to walk process, breath by breath, there are these moments where I'm unconditional within myself and don’t actually allow myself to misdirect myself, from the self-sabotage patterns of self-judgment, within moving from self-trust to self-judgment. Self-trust, LIVING practicality of self-honesty, wherein there is absolutely no judgments based on what self has or hasn't done, from the perspective of living in the moment of breath, rather than moving from one dimension to another of the mind, by/through I allow myself to self-sabotage myself of participating in the, 'now of consciousness.'

b. Writing the Definition-Self-trust is when self always allows one to see self into anything/anyone, of seeing the other as just like you, but always seeing that every mistake is a change to allow trust in oneself, breath by breath.

4. Checking the Definition

a.   Is there a polarity in the definition that I have assigned to the word?
Answer: No

b.   Can I stand by this definition of the word eternally?
Answer: Yes.

c.   Does the definition that I wrote represent what the word means?
Answer: Yes.

Check out: http://eqafe.com/p/self-trust

No comments:

Post a Comment